top of page
Writer's pictureGhost Llama

What if Space Jam was about Trey?



Imagine if Space Jam was a movie about jamming instead of basketball. Somehow Bugs Bunny convinces the aliens to compete in a battle of the bands.


The Nerdlucks are sent to Earth to get the Looney Tunes to work on Moron Mountain. Upon arrival, the Looney Toons notice the Nerdlucks don’t have rhythm and can’t dance. So Bugs Bunny challenges them to a battle of the bands. Little do our animated heroes realize, the Nerdlucks watch a documentary about rock and roll. They discover major rockstars and set out to steal their talent.


First, we see a map of the good ole US of A and a spaceship landing in the city of Los Angeles. Next, we see Dave Grohl, Josh Homme, and John Paul Jones rocking together in the studio. Suddenly we see an alien take away Dave’s talent. The moment Dave loses his talent we see him play off-rhythm. Josh yells at him to stop messing around. But Dave Grohl just bangs on the drums as if he was a wee child. As the camera cuts away, we hear John Paul Jones say a one-liner that only old rock fans would get. We see an alien gain Dave Grohl's drumming ability.


Cut back to the map and see the spaceship go to New York City. As the screen dissolves, we see a sign for Dead and Co., who's playing Madison Square Garden. Dead and Co. is playing whatever song the movie studio could afford and an alien sneaks on stage to steal John Mayer’s talent. Suddenly Mayer sounds like what Deadhead purists hear when he plays Jerry’s parts. As we see the alien guitarist suddenly gain Mayer’s ability there is a cutaway back to the map.


The spaceship loads up from NYC and heads south to Miami where John Legend is playing piano for a rehearsal for some gig Pitbull is emceeing. Pitbull is explaining the event to John when an alien comes up and steals Legend's talent. Cut to John try to play the piano and Pitbull getting upset with him as the camera cuts away. Meanwhile, the alien band has acquired a keys player.


The alien spaceship then heads to the California desert where Flea is rocking out with the Chili Peppers mid-show when his talent is usurped. Here, we can rely on Flea natural acting chops from the Big Lebowski kicks in; literally. He messes up a few notes and immediately goes into Nihilist mode as we see an alien bassist level up to bass master.


Here we see inside the alien's spaceship and watch their band start to take form and jam. As they begin jamming out they realize they need a frontman with a good voice and on their screen they see Bradon Flowers singing Mr. Brightside to a sold show in Las Vegas. The camera pans out to the spaceship on the map and we see it take off to Vegas.

As The Killers are doing their curtain calls, an alien sneaks in and takes Flowers' talent.


It is now time to practice for the battle of the bands. The entire village of Looney Tunes is in attendance to laugh at the Nerdlucks try to play rock and roll. As the lights go down, we see giant versions of the once small aliens and the band name Monstars on the big round drum in the drumset. The band rocks out a version of whatever trendy rock song they decided to spend the rights on.


All the Looney Tunes are now scared and Bugs Bunny says he’ll find someone to help him.


We now cut to Trey walking his dog in Midtown Manhattan. Trey and his dog walk past a corridor with Gamehendge written on it. Taken aback, Trey cannot resist the urge to step through the corridor. As Trey walks through the corridor he has just unwittingly entered the land of Looney Tunes. (There is a lizard that runs by in the background as a subtle nod to the actual Gamehendge.)


The toons show Trey the aliens before and after talent steal. State they need help. Trey says he'll help. Now, everyone is ready for band rehearsal except, Trey notices there is no drummer. Bugs Bunny says, "here he comes now". As the camera pans to the door Questlove walks in eating a bowl of cereal and casually says, "What’s up Trey?" Trey is obviously confused and Bugs Bunny explains that Questlove simply lives in Toontown.


Now that the band, named the Toon Squad, is formed, cue the obligatory montage of band practices. The montage is set to whatever Rolling Stones song the production company is willing to pay for and the audience is introduced to the cartoon band members. Bugs Bunny on Rhythm Guitar, Daffy Duck on Bass, Porky Pig on Keys, Slyvester on Trumpet, Elmer Fudd on Trombone, Yosemite Sam on Tenor Saxophone. Lola Bunny, Granny, and Tweety Bird are the backup singers. Trey and Questlove round out the bands on guitar and drums respectively. Obviously, the band is not very good but they are serviceable.


The battle of the bands has arrived and the Monstars take the stage and play a searing rendition of Radar Love. Backstage the Toon Squad is clearly shaken and is now afraid to perform. Trey and Questlove try to brighten the low morale of the Toon Squad to no avail. So Bugs Bunny creates a label for Trey’s water bottle that says "Trey’s Mojo" and passes it around to all the toons. Trey gives a speech about the mojo always being inside of you and that to reach it you have to set the gearshift for the high gear of your soul. The toon band then goes out and plays a raucous rendition of Antelope and wins the show.


The Nerdlucks return the stolen talent into Trey’s guitar and head back to Moron Mountain dejected. The toons thank Trey and Questlove for helping them.


After Trey leaves, he goes to a garage in LA where Dave Grohl and company are sad that their talents are still gone. Trey has all the musicians touch his guitar and their talents return. The group then begins a jam session. They are playing Soul Planet and as the song continues the screen fades into Trey playing with the other members of Phish right before the credits roll.



49 views0 comments

Comments

Rated 0 out of 5 stars.
No ratings yet

Add a rating
bottom of page